Case File No. 1
Some of our fellow Mannas and friends headed on a swim holiday of a lifetime to Croatia. Sadly, these friends of ours must have stumbled into trouble as their antics have not been reported back to Mandurah via the usual website Blogs. It appears they may have been recruited into Vojna sigurnosno-obavještajna agencija or VSOA (Military Security and Intelligence Agency of Croatia).
Therefore, a case file for our missing friends/agents has been created using a ‘join the dots’ approach from individual facebook accounts and these are the current known facts:
Cathy: may have been recruited by VSOA following her tea drinking experience and stalked by the ‘budgie smuggler guy’.
Craig: believed recruited by VSOA following secret dive-bombing practice. Currently recorded as MIA in the lake due to the tsunami effect.
Ken: last known location appeared to show Ken wedged in a long narrow street taking photos and behaving like a first-time tourist. Believed recruited into VSOA for his ability to take photos and behave like a proper tourist.
Ann: last seen at Dubai International Airport reportedly after purchasing coffee for known associates. Approach with caution may be the money dealer of the group!
Steve: Previously convicted as a Scottish agent with dubious passport identification. Claims Aussie residency but now believed to have been recruited into VSOA for his ability to swim into classified areas. Location unknown. Approach with caution may be a ‘double agent’.
Hazel: reports confirm she tried to disguise her appearance on arrival to Croatia but it is widely believed she may be the ‘Bionic Woman’.
Sue: No sighting since departing Perth a week ago. Presumed MIA due to swimming too fast. Possible consideration for secret ops assignment - unconfirmed.
Brett: Tried to smuggle oranges, lemons and limes out of Australia for the Croatian black market or possible bribe for the Swim Trek officials – possible arrest at Osijek Airport by VSOA. Current location unknown.
Barb: Chief Commander with high ranking credentials. Leaded this group of misfits into a 1.5k race which created an international distraction providing opportunity to them to complete their espionage mission!!
Pete: reluctant recruit in open waters. Last seen running in opposite direction to avoid apprehension by local authorities.
Lynette: agent credentials unknown. Provides key organisational skills and has the ability to disguise as an open water swimmer meanwhile acting as a MARC operative.
Erica: best known agent for her swimming ability, sadly appears to have lost her way! Looks like her relationship with a fellow agent has let her astray. Last know locations – numerous public houses in and around Slunj. VSOA may need to re-assess this operatives’ credentials.
Marta: Sadly, caused a stir with her baggage allowance following excessive shopping at swimmer.com and wiggle.com. Slipped quietly through immigration following complete makeover. On the VSOA watch list as a possible imposter!
Annemarie: Failed Medical. Mission aborted.